Part 10: Ashurbanipal Boss Fight

10. Ashurbanipal Boss Fight

Snake stalks into the Royal Library, compound bow at the ready. He darts between the column's shadows, approaching a torch-lit central chamber storing thousands of stone tablets. All around him are the corpses of Landsknechts who have been tossed like bloody rag dolls.

Ashurbanipal?

Ashurbanipal sits in the center of the carnage, using a corpse as a stool, studying a stone tablet intensely.

Ah…hello, Big Boss.

You…they weren't here to kill you. You didn't need to kill them.

And they didn't need to disturb me at reading time. Only the worthy are allowed in here.

You told me to come here. Well…here I am. What's the secret? Why is everyone in this weird land?

Ashurbanipal gives a big, booming laugh that echoes off the stone walls.

You've lost it.

Lost? LOST!? Nothing is lost. The dead people of my kingdom…the palace guards… the scholars… the soldiers… even the slaves and animals! Thanks to the marvel of history itself, they shall endure beyond time. But can you, Snake? So much of your history is lost or shrouded, is it not? You are a man who keeps his secrets to himself. When you die, even your soul shall vanish.

Hmph. Do you have anything useful to share?

Knowledge is power, and power comes at a price! My people were the first to know the secret of iron, and we hammered the world into shape upon the anvil of violence. If you wish to know what I know, you must face history itself!

Ashurbanipal gives a low growl that rises to a scream as he stands and stretches his arms out. The stone tablets surrounding him begin rattling, shaking the whole building. Then the tablets fly through the air at Ashurbanipal himself, slapping themselves onto his skin, stacking up upon one another. He rises into the air, a twenty-foot-tall stone giant made of tablets!

Oh, crap! [(He dives for cover)]

DIE, YOU IGNORANT PEASANT!

The stone giant Ashurbanipal smashes a fist into the wall Snake's hiding behind, shattering a goodly portion of it and raining pebbles down on his head.

AHAAH! I SEE YOU!

Ashurbanipal winds up for a megaton punch that will turn Snake to jelly, but Snake darts out of cover and does a flying dropkick at Ashurbanipal's leg that makes him lose his balance and topple backwards, howling. Snake scrambles for another hiding spot as the tablets begin reforming.

Amanda, please tell me we've salvaged some rocket launchers or something by now! I can't punch stone! That kick HURT.

Sorry, Snake. We haven't even re-researched gunpowder yet. But…those tablets…they're not indestructible. He's not thinking clearly, if you could get him to keep smashing up the building and trip him up, they'll crack apart.

Ah, an old-fashioned bullfight, huh? Okay…let's do this.

SNAAAAKE!

The giant has reformed itself, but now some of its tablets are gone, and Ashurbanipal's human face is visible near the top of the shambling pile. The giant stomps through the halls, breaking some of the supports as it goes. Snake pops out in front of him.

Right here, buddy.

DIE!!!!

Ashurbanipal again winds up for another huge punch, but this time Snake dodges backwards at the last second as the monster punches the ground. Snake quickly hops onto and runs up the arm of the giant and kicks Ashurbanipal in his fleshy face before sliding down the giant's back.

GAAAH! THAT…THAT WAS NOTHING!

The giant roughly swings around, flinging its arms into the walls and making the whole building shudder.

I'LL CRUSH YOU ALL! I'LL CRUSH EVERYONE!!!

He holds out one arm and begins shooting his tablets off it like a machine gun at Snake, but the projectiles are cumbersome and badly-aimed. They shatter on the walls as Snake books it down another hall.

This is pretty nuts…doesn't he know he's destroying his own armor, and his own history, by doing this?

Grief makes you do stupid things, I guess…he's lost his whole country to the Huns. That must be intolerable to someone like him.

Ashurbanipal EXPLODES through the wall in front of Snake, cutting him off. Most of the remaining tablets are now concentrated on his limbs.

NOWHERE TO RUN!

Ashurbanipal windmills his arms as he charges, a maelstrom of death and stone, cracking apart the hallways and filling the air with dust. Snake takes desperate aim with his bow and shoots at the exposed upper chest of Ashurbanipal. It hits!

GAUUUGGHHH!

The monster falls forward and skids to the ground. The building can't take any more and the ceiling collapses upon him, shattering most of the rest of the tablets. What's left underneath is a once-proud warrior king, now battered and broken.

No…nooo…… once again I am undone by an ignorant savage? A mere mercenary? Who are you!?

Jack the Giant-Killer.

Haugghhh……and what giants you must have faced before. Your story must be amazing…

Ashurbanipal. You don't have much time left. Tell me straight, what's the secret to why we're all here?

Huuuhhhghh… do you know the Epic of Gilgamesh, Snake? The greatest hero in the world… but his divinity did not extend to his flesh, which was yet mortal. He sought out the flower of eternal life, only for it to slip from his grasp. But…he found another way…

Another way? What do you mean?

This way… [He reaches out to a tablet and strokes it with his one good hand.] By becoming a legend. His story would pass from one generation to the next, forever being told and retold, until the end of time. Life as a legend… and are we all here not legends? I the great scholar-king, Alexander the charming conquerer, and you…the giant-killer…

Hrrm…

This is the land where legends live…and re-live. More than this I cannot say…you must find out who the storyteller is in order to hold them accountable for your fate, and return home, if this place is not home enough for you. When the story is told again, I will start afresh…but not again in this one. Snaaake! Remember me…remember me…rememb…ber…

Ashurbanipal is still.

Hmph.

He was a monster…but it's still a loss to see someone like that brought so low…

Yeah… Okay, Amanda. I'm going to get the troops to set this place up as another outpost… I'm done for today though. Gonna go get a beer.

A beer?

Yup. The Assyrians invented beer, I'm sure there's still a keg or two around here somewhere…

To be Continued!